Monday, October 31, 2011

I Need Your Help!!! :)

Hello Loyal Fans!!

First of all I would like to thank you all for helping me reach my 1,000th view... so please join me in celebrating my Happy 1,000th!!! 

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Secondly many of you will notice this fancy little button on the right hand side of this page that wasn't there before, well click on it! I need your votes so that I can win an SA Blog Award!! So please click away and vote for me!!!

;)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Giraffe House

When asked if I would like to help chaperone the preschoolers on their trip to "Giraffe House" I thought HECK YES, I'd love to play with giraffes all day! Why must I be so naive?

We pull up to the Giraffe House which is this little fenced in area just between Stellenbosch and Paarl. There is a cute giraffe on the sign and I thought I was in for a day of giraffe petting. Welp, I didn't get to pet a giraffe, but I got to 'pet' many other things.

After the preschoolers went mental looking at all of the different animals that they have there they settled down for the educational portion of the day. The Afrikaans curator brought out two big bins, but you couldn't see inside of them. Then LUCKY ME, he caught me talking while he was talking and made me come up to the front so I could be his show girl. Delightful. Because I'm not terrified to death of creepy crawlies, yea right. He also made mention that he's going to speak in Afrikaans so that the poor American doesn't understand what he's saying. Nice.

Round One:
I honestly thought he was going to give me a snake (and I really don't mind snakes) because of the hissing noise that was coming from inside his hand, but no... it was a madagascar hissing cockroach. Let's pretend for a second that I didn't freak out and start shaking while screaming bloody murder and that I just accepted the cockroaches and even thought they were cool... then stop pretending and remember that I HATE BUGS WITH ALL OF MY BEING.



GROSS ME GREEN.

Round 2: Turn a frog into a prince. My friend Mr. Curator actually pushed the frog into my lips, so yea... sorry Jorg :-/




Round 3: Mr. Curator says "really, with this one please don't freak out, you have to be very still.
Tarantula. Are you kidding me?

Round 4: "Let's have Samantha stick her hand into my magic bag, then you guys say 'abra kadabra"... if you don't say it right a bunny won't come out, something worse will come out". So I looked at Mr. Curator... and I whispered "you better tell me right now if there is a bug in there because if there is there is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that I am putting my hand in that bag." He assured me it wasn't a bug... so in I went.



Hahaha, the kids loved it.

He then had a few of the kids come up to the front...



Not going to lie, I did not expect to go to Giraffe House to face my biggest fear, but I did it and I lived to tell the story! Of course I must show you a picture of their token giraffe, Gerry. (Strange that this place was called Giraffe House and there was only one giraffe... and he didn't even live in a house?!?!? (chuckle chuckle)) The kids has a great time running along the fence with Gerry. 


Before leaving for the day Mr. Curator stopped me on my way out to ask if I wanted to hold the python. YES SIR. So he let me hold the python and it was SO AWESOME. 


All in all what a wonderful day!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Helderberg Wine Festival 2011

The Helderberg Wine Festival a.k.a Probably One of the Best Days of my Life took place this past weekend throughout 35 wineries in Stellenbosch and Somerset West. IT WAS PHENOMENAL. There was plenty of food, friends, wine, and sunshine. Honestly, I can't think of anything better than an entire festival dedicated to wine.


 So we began (we as in me, the Yank, and five South African hooligans) our adventure at Blaauwklippen, a beautiful wine farm in Stellenbosch. There I ate a super spicy Indian samoosa, yikes it was spicy. There I also met a super spicy Indian man, Pandham, who quickly became my new best friend due to his unlimited tasting policy.


I had the pleasure of also meeting a South African girl who couldn't have been more excited that I was from America because that is where the Kardashians are from. Like OMG they're basically like my next door neighbors! All the way across the country... Anyways... it is sad to think that the only way some people perceive America is as one big Calabasas County. WRONG-O.

After trying, ohhh 12 different wines at Blaauwklippen and eating a mediocre sausage pie it was time to move on! On to Eikendal! There I tasted an absolutely brutal Brut and a less than satisfying Savignon, then gave up on their wine, and decided to try my luck at hitting a golf ball into a kiddie pool in the middle of a pond.


Close, (well at least closer than Marco) but no cigar. After the Eikendal let-down we finished at our favorite place, Lourensford!

Lourensford granted us 11 tastings (I believe?), minus the glorious Honey Liquor (insert sad face). While they charmed us with the wine, we charmed them with our musical crystal glass orchestra.

You know you've had enough when you attempt to DJ a wine glass
Once again, Lourensford dazzled our taste buds with their wonderful wine selection and left us feeling tickled and tipsy. Another wonderful day of wine tasting. :) Can't wait for next weekend!

There, now you guys have all been in my blog. You're welcome :)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Nasty Neighbor

Strike one.
Strike two.
Strike three... you get pictures from the freaky neighbor across the street who is mad because you park your car 1/2 on the road behind his driveway even when he has more than enough space to back out.

You know what they say... Big Brother is watching you... or in our case it is the Negative Nancy who lives across the street from us. Like any other stalker or psycho killer he took pictures out of his upstairs window, even when we were standing next to the car! You can even see from the pictures that there is so soooo much space for this guy to back out, but instead he decides to be freaky deaky crazy neighbor because he has nothing better to do.

I just thought I'd share a picture for everyone to enjoy, and also a couple of choice quotes from the complex director's email...

"The HOA has now had three complains about the parking at your unit."
--Three complains... not complaints?? ITS CALLED PROOFREADING!

"The rules of The Vines is simple you may not obstruct the road."
--Rules = plural     Is=singular   

"...secondly another car may reverse or serve into your car"
--Please serve into the car, I'm curious as to what it will look like.



... creeper

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Language Barrier

As with traveling to any other country there are always going to be a few words used by locals that don't quite correspond with our American way of speaking. American is definitely a language all of its own I have come to find. There's English, and then there's American, and then there's South African English. My American way of speaking is thrown in my face at least three times a day, but that's fine, at least I know that french fries are french fries and chips are chips. DUH!

How they came up with some of these words I really can't comprehend, but here are a few random language differences for you all to enjoy...


American: Truck /// South African: Bakkie (pronouced Bucky)


#
American: Pound /// South African: Hash


American: Stroller /// South African: Pram 


American: Ketchup /// South African: Tomato Sauce


American: Traffic Light /// South African: Robot



Bizarre.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Farm Crawl

Hello world :)

First off I would like to say "Happy National Cake Decorating Day". While I do not celebrate this myself, I thought heck, someone out there does. So to you little pastry decorating fools out there, cheers!

Back on topic...

Yesterday I had quite a lovely Sunday wine-farm hopping with a couple of crazy kids. The area where I am in South Africa is speckled with some of the world's finest wineries, and being a typical female American, I absolutely love to sip back a couple glasses every now and then. I couldn't be in a more perfect place!

Vergelegen
 The weather was just beautiful and the wine was delicious. We went to Vergelegen and Lourensford, and while we meant to hit a trifecta we didn't quite make it to the third farm (which was probably best for not only the staff that would have served us, but our livers as well).

Sophistication at its finest

 A farm crawl is on a completely different level than a bar crawl because you aren't rubbing elbows with the local nasties and fist pumping to Lil John, you're sipping delectable wine with your nose in the air pretending you have more money than you actually do. De-lightful darling!



 The similarity between the two however is that you start at the first place with a brain between your ears and being able to speak without slurring and by the last place you are attempting to fit your mouth around the top of a glass or crawling on the ground like a gorilla. Alcohol is alcohol my friends.

Kids do not try this at home
No words to explain this one.

This blog is meant to be educational as well as silly so here is the lesson for the day:



Proper Wine Tasting 101

1. Look - Look at the wine. What color is it? Red, white, blush? Tilt the glass and gaze into the beautiful beverage. Then look around and see if other people are looking at you because you probably look strange.

2. Look again - Check out the opacity of the wine. Is it a thick merlot? It is a clear savignon? Are there little bits of cork floating around due to the waitress's poor wine-opening skills?

3.  Smell - Take a big whiff. Does it smell like a forest floor? Or like a robin's egg blue Crayola crayon (you might want to not drink it if it does, just sayin)? Fruity? Woody? Nutty? Just sniff and let the aroma take over your taste buds.

4. Taste - Take a small sip (don't down the whole thing drunkies!) and let it bee-bop around your mouth for a bit. Some people give it a little swish (gross).

5. Reflect - Reflect on the experience. Ponder. Write a poem about it. Heck, write a blog entry about it. (insert chuckle)


The best thing about this whole experience I must say is that in total it cost around $15 for 13 different wines. WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Tokoloshe

Throughout my stays in South Africa I have been graced with the interesting and far-fetched stories of the cultural traditions of the people that live here, the Xhosa people in particular. There are so many traditions and beliefs that I could probably write a book about them but the one that really throws me off is the Tokoloshe.

Although "he can't be seen" this is apparently what he looks like haha
The Tokoloshe is described as a brown, hairy dwarf that sneaks in to people's houses at night to make love to the females in the household. 

" The penis of the tokoloshe is so long that it has to be slung over his shoulder. Thus sexually well-endowed, the duties of the tokolosh include making love to its witch mistress." (www.vanhunks.com)

In order to thwart the tokoloshe's attempts the Xhosa people build their beds at least ten bricks high off of the ground. The tokoloshe are apparently invisible to adults but if you do see one you are not supposed to speak of it because he will return and punish you for speaking about him.

People really believe in this. For confirmation please see this link Man asks yahoo about tokoloshe problems.

 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Only in Africa...

They probably don't train for this before the race...

You must watch this video! hahahah ridiculous.

Wickets, Scrums, and Aussies OH MY

Hello hello!

Over these past few days I've been able to partake in a few sporting experiences that are not-so-typical in the US of A, Rugby & Cricket. South Africa took on Australia in the quarter finals of the Rugby World Cup this past Sunday morning and suffered a disappointing loss to the Aussies.

Whippersnappers
 In honor of the loss many South Africans have decided to sacrifice Bryce Lawrence to the Rugby Gods due to his less than spectacular refereeing skills.

FAIL
It is quite interesting to watch Rugby I must say. It is like watching American Football without the annoying cheerleaders, constant stop & go, and oh yea, protective padding! These crazy fools don't wear any pads or helmets, just a simple mouth guard will do. They basically go into the game accepting the huge possibility that they may come out of the game with a disfigured face and a broken limb or two or three, or CAULIFLOWER EAR! Probably the nastiest term I've EVER heard. (For those who haven't heard of it before, as I hadn't, google images it, but beware its so nasty)


South African professional Rugby players earn between $100,000 and $650,000 per year compared to the average salary of $1,642,595 for a New England Patriots football player. Yikes. That is quite a difference.

Yesterday I braved the Gale Force Winds and went with a couple of chaps to get up close and personal (from behind a fence) with the Australian national cricket team. They were certainly not as beastly at the rugby players, mostly just tall, pale, and lanky.


I don't know any of the rules of cricket or really what is going on during a game. I know that the people who pitch are called bowlers, the batters basically wear the equivalent of hockey goalie shin guards, and that that hard little ball looks like it would hurt SO BAD if you got nailed with it. Oh and that the Aussies are playing South Africa on Thursday woop woop. Maybe if I learn the rules I could be the Heidi Watney of cricket ;).

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Whaling Around Hermanus

Good morning!

Yesterday I had a great morning excursion up the coast to Hermanus :)!

Our first stop...
Not what you typically expect to find on the side of the highway, but hey this is Africa so I guess anything is really possible. We met a creature of the extraterrestrial sort... E.T. himself!

Now the person who decided "heck that rock looks like E.T. let me grab a can of spray paint" had to have been either extremely clever or extremely drunk. My vote is on #2.
Either way we had to stop and take pictures with it :).

We continued our journey along the gorgeous sea coast with another quick pit stop to visit our favorite friends in tuxedos... the penguins!


Our final destination was the beautiful vacation town of Hermanus. This time of year is when Southern Right Whales make their journey to the coast of Hermanus. There they birth their calves and frolick about the coastal town creating a whale watching frenzy. We were lucky enough to see a "confirmed" whale breaching, a bit far off the coast, but a breaching none the less. The other whales just teased us with some blow-hole spouting and showing us their backs, how rude. With the whales shyness aside, it was still a wonderful day.



Fun Facts About Whales
1. The Southern Right Whale received his name from Norwegian fishermen some 5,000 years ago. This particular species is very slow swimming, making it the "right" whale to hunt.
2. There are only about 3,000 Southern Right Whales left in the sea today.
3. The gestation period for a whale is 12 months, yikes thats one big baby.
4. Whales usually breach in sets of 4.
5. Southern Right Whales have 2 blowholes.



There's your healthy dose of whale education for the day bru.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Beware

Important Notice

Lock your doors, guard your children, and hide your small animals for there is a BEAST that walks among us! This is not to be taken lightly, it is out there and it is hungry!! 

It acts as a normal human might..
Likes pretty girls (takes a particular liking to the name Tinet).
Is classic in social settings...
Even can be shy and innocent at times...
But just when you begin to trust him and laugh at his witty remarks
and you turn away for a second... 
HE ATTACKS!!!

Scientists are unsure of where exactly the "Gingah Ninja" (as the locals call him due to his swift transformation from the every day South African chap to the gnarley ferocious beast shown above ) has come from. They believe that he is a direct descendant of the Carrot Topus species shown below. 

Carrot Topus
 
If spotted please alert authorities as a beast this dangerous requires immediate euthanization.

Thank you and good luck. 

Saturday, October 1, 2011