Farm Crawl

Hello world :)

First off I would like to say "Happy National Cake Decorating Day". While I do not celebrate this myself, I thought heck, someone out there does. So to you little pastry decorating fools out there, cheers!

Back on topic...

Yesterday I had quite a lovely Sunday wine-farm hopping with a couple of crazy kids. The area where I am in South Africa is speckled with some of the world's finest wineries, and being a typical female American, I absolutely love to sip back a couple glasses every now and then. I couldn't be in a more perfect place!

Vergelegen

 The weather was just beautiful and the wine was delicious. We went to Vergelegen and Lourensford, and while we meant to hit a trifecta we didn't quite make it to the third farm (which was probably best for not only the staff that would have served us, but our livers as well).

Sophistication at its finest

 A farm crawl is on a completely different level than a bar crawl because you aren't rubbing elbows with the local nasties and fist pumping to Lil John, you're sipping delectable wine with your nose in the air pretending you have more money than you actually do. De-lightful darling!

 The similarity between the two however is that you start at the first place with a brain between your ears and being able to speak without slurring and by the last place you are attempting to fit your mouth around the top of a glass or crawling on the ground like a gorilla. Alcohol is alcohol my friends.

Kids do not try this at home

No words to explain this one.

This blog is meant to be educational as well as silly so here is the lesson for the day:

Proper Wine Tasting 101

1. Look - Look at the wine. What color is it? Red, white, blush? Tilt the glass and gaze into the beautiful beverage. Then look around and see if other people are looking at you because you probably look strange.

2. Look again - Check out the opacity of the wine. Is it a thick merlot? It is a clear savignon? Are there little bits of cork floating around due to the waitress's poor wine-opening skills?

3.  Smell - Take a big whiff. Does it smell like a forest floor? Or like a robin's egg blue Crayola crayon (you might want to not drink it if it does, just sayin)? Fruity? Woody? Nutty? Just sniff and let the aroma take over your taste buds.

4. Taste - Take a small sip (don't down the whole thing drunkies!) and let it bee-bop around your mouth for a bit. Some people give it a little swish (gross).

5. Reflect - Reflect on the experience. Ponder. Write a poem about it. Heck, write a blog entry about it. (insert chuckle)


The best thing about this whole experience I must say is that in total it cost around $15 for 13 different wines. WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM.

Tokoloshe

Throughout my stays in South Africa I have been graced with the interesting and far-fetched stories of the cultural traditions of the people that live here, the Xhosa people in particular. There are so many traditions and beliefs that I could probably write a book about them but the one that really throws me off is the Tokoloshe.

Although "he can't be seen" this is apparently what he looks like haha

The Tokoloshe is described as a brown, hairy dwarf that sneaks in to people's houses at night to make love to the females in the household. 

" The penis of the tokoloshe is so long that it has to be slung over his shoulder. Thus sexually well-endowed, the duties of the tokolosh include making love to its witch mistress." (www.vanhunks.com)

In order to thwart the tokoloshe's attempts the Xhosa people build their beds at least ten bricks high off of the ground. The tokoloshe are apparently invisible to adults but if you do see one you are not supposed to speak of it because he will return and punish you for speaking about him.

People really believe in this. For confirmation please see this link Man asks yahoo about tokoloshe problems.

 

Only in Africa...

They probably don't train for this before the race...

You must watch this video! hahahah ridiculous.

Wickets, Scrums, and Aussies OH MY

Hello hello!

Over these past few days I've been able to partake in a few sporting experiences that are not-so-typical in the US of A, Rugby & Cricket. South Africa took on Australia in the quarter finals of the Rugby World Cup this past Sunday morning and suffered a disappointing loss to the Aussies.

Whippersnappers

 In honor of the loss many South Africans have decided to sacrifice Bryce Lawrence to the Rugby Gods due to his less than spectacular refereeing skills.

FAIL

It is quite interesting to watch Rugby I must say. It is like watching American Football without the annoying cheerleaders, constant stop & go, and oh yea, protective padding! These crazy fools don't wear any pads or helmets, just a simple mouth guard will do. They basically go into the game accepting the huge possibility that they may come out of the game with a disfigured face and a broken limb or two or three, or CAULIFLOWER EAR! Probably the nastiest term I've EVER heard. (For those who haven't heard of it before, as I hadn't, google images it, but beware its so nasty)

South African professional Rugby players earn between $100,000 and $650,000 per year compared to the average salary of $1,642,595 for a New England Patriots football player. Yikes. That is quite a difference.

Yesterday I braved the Gale Force Winds and went with a couple of chaps to get up close and personal (from behind a fence) with the Australian national cricket team. They were certainly not as beastly at the rugby players, mostly just tall, pale, and lanky.

I don't know any of the rules of cricket or really what is going on during a game. I know that the people who pitch are called bowlers, the batters basically wear the equivalent of hockey goalie shin guards, and that that hard little ball looks like it would hurt SO BAD if you got nailed with it. Oh and that the Aussies are playing South Africa on Thursday woop woop. Maybe if I learn the rules I could be the Heidi Watney of cricket ;).

Whaling Around Hermanus

Good morning!

Yesterday I had a great morning excursion up the coast to Hermanus :)!

Our first stop...
Not what you typically expect to find on the side of the highway, but hey this is Africa so I guess anything is really possible. We met a creature of the extraterrestrial sort... E.T. himself!

Now the person who decided "heck that rock looks like E.T. let me grab a can of spray paint" had to have been either extremely clever or extremely drunk. My vote is on #2.

Either way we had to stop and take pictures with it :).

We continued our journey along the gorgeous sea coast with another quick pit stop to visit our favorite friends in tuxedos... the penguins!

Our final destination was the beautiful vacation town of Hermanus. This time of year is when Southern Right Whales make their journey to the coast of Hermanus. There they birth their calves and frolick about the coastal town creating a whale watching frenzy. We were lucky enough to see a "confirmed" whale breaching, a bit far off the coast, but a breaching none the less. The other whales just teased us with some blow-hole spouting and showing us their backs, how rude. With the whales shyness aside, it was still a wonderful day.

Fun Facts About Whales
1. The Southern Right Whale received his name from Norwegian fishermen some 5,000 years ago. This particular species is very slow swimming, making it the "right" whale to hunt.
2. There are only about 3,000 Southern Right Whales left in the sea today.
3. The gestation period for a whale is 12 months, yikes thats one big baby.
4. Whales usually breach in sets of 4.
5. Southern Right Whales have 2 blowholes.

There's your healthy dose of whale education for the day bru.

Beware

Important Notice

Lock your doors, guard your children, and hide your small animals for there is a BEAST that walks among us! This is not to be taken lightly, it is out there and it is hungry!! 

It acts as a normal human might..

Likes pretty girls (takes a particular liking to the name Tinet).

Is classic in social settings...

Even can be shy and innocent at times...

But just when you begin to trust him and laugh at his witty remarks

and you turn away for a second... 

HE ATTACKS!!!

Scientists are unsure of where exactly the "Gingah Ninja" (as the locals call him due to his swift transformation from the every day South African chap to the gnarley ferocious beast shown above ) has come from. They believe that he is a direct descendant of the Carrot Topus species shown below. 

Carrot Topus

 

If spotted please alert authorities as a beast this dangerous requires immediate euthanization.

Thank you and good luck. 

Shark Food

Man gets chowed by shark. 45 minutes away from here. No big deal.

Video Footage of the Beast